When I said that this blog is a real hodge-podge of randomness, basically just a collection of thoughts or experiences from my life, I meant it. This post will demonstrate it to be so if you’ve been in doubt until now. Reader beware, I’m going to speak now of the crimson tide, the dreaded Aunt Flo, the one who sends grown men running away with their hands cupped over their ears: Periods. Now guys, before you opt out entirely, keep an open mind here, let your mind wander where necessary but please consider sticking around to learn a thing or two, perhaps something you could share with the females in your life. They might just be impressed by your ability to stomach a ‘condition’ that half the population suffers from with tearful regularly. I certainly don’t wish to promote any thinking that it’s a girls only subject nor that it should be a taboo.
*Insert photo of really serene, happy women smiling knowingly at one another.. and make sure there is lots of pink involved*
At the ripe age of 34, well nearer 35 in all honesty, I have had an estimated 22 years worth of periods, amounting to a whopping 330 periods in my lifetime so far, give or take a few. No wonder I’m so tired! I figure that I’ve probably gone through just shy of 4000 menstrual pads or tampons thus far. The wise old internet reckons that it takes 500-800 years for one sanitary napkin to decompose. So that’s a net impact of at least 20,000 years I’ve had just for having a blessed period as my plight in life. For the last few months I’ve said I want to throw in the towel (*cue rim shot*) and give a Feminine Cup a try. I’ve seen the Moon Cup advertised and finally decided to plunk down around £20 for one of these marvels last month.
I won’t go into the details you could otherwise get from googling the Moon Cup as far as installing, emptying and cleaning the thing goes but here’s some of my experience so far. I found it ridiculous to use last month as I spent a stupid amount of time in the loo adjusting, readjusting, swearing, cleaning up small leaks and so on. God was it messy! The cup has a stem attached to it that they recommend you snip according to your own comfort and need. The first few times I put the thing in, trying to get a feel for how far to insert it, I started out shoving it way the hell up there. I worried that I was going to rip that stupid stem off and my fingers were sore from trying to keep my grip on the slippery thing (sorry about the eew factor there). I eventually snipped it shorter and shorter until I eventually decided to get rid of it entirely.
It was then as if I encountered a different product entirely. I had been afraid I wouldn’t be able to get a hold of it but in fact removing the stem allowed me to wear it lower down. Now in my second month of using it I can’t imagine going back. I haven’t perfected my technique just yet but so far so good! It’s comfortable, easy to grab, remove and insert. I’ve actually found that this time around there has been nil mess, although I’ve been lucky so far in not having to empty it in a public toilet this month. Last month I just grabbed some wet paper towel if I could and took it into the stall with me.
Granted, I have no idea how long this thing will take to degrade once my use of it is complete in a few years time so I’m not sure how many environmental points I’ve actually won, but just for the lifestyle factor I would highly recommend one of these gadgets. I find that as a fairly heavy bleeder I don’t have to change it frequently at all, I can sleep however I want at night without fear of something terrible happening and I don’t have to get up in the middle of the night.
If you do get one, stick with it for a couple months til you get the hang of it. Count on the first month being really terrible, wearing a backup and wondering if you just blew a lot of money on something you will have to use as an egg warmer but keep an open mind and be willing to really get comfortable with yourself.