Cloudless Days with No Sunshine

Walking to work this morning, the sky was a great s t r e t c h of cloudless blue.

Yet the sidewalk below was a drab gray, dark and cold. 

I knew that there must be some light out there ……………………..

………………… but it just hadn’t fallen across my path. 

On I walked and as the buildings rose HIGHER, the path grew darker, yet I could see the warm glow far overhead on the sides of the glass and concrete and metal far above. 

I came to enjoy the game of searching for (pockets of light) in the darkness, reflections of the sun that was surely out there                                                                       somewhere.


Through crevices between houses, along the backside of gardens overgrown with weeds and thorns, dancing in the windows. Eventually I caught glimpses as the buildings   spaced     out yet still it ducked and dived from my sight.


As I approached the open square, the intensity around me began to increase and build.


Finally, as I broke through my surroundings, there it stood as it had all along.
It hadn’t changed.


Only my own position had.

………………………………………………………………………………………..

I wrote this piece not as a way of ‘preaching it’ to my atheist or ‘unbelieving’ friends but as, well, a good kick in the bum for my ‘believing’ or ‘orthodox’ friends- or more specifically to those who are pretty certain they know what truth is and can recognise what it isn’t. 


I use to make such claims and probably still am enlightened arrogant enough to do so now on occasion (well, don’t we all?). I recall a conversation I had recently with someone who reminded me of the good old (?) Christian proverb (not the kind in the bible… the kind that someone made up and it’s followed us around doggedly for aeons) that just a bit of untruth makes the whole thing a lie. I think most people put it a bit more whimsically than that but the exact phrase now escapes me, but you get the gist. I use to wield that one around myself but as it was reiterated to me I thought, now wait, that’s not exactly right. 


I’m in a place in life now where I believe that God does dwell, as the psalmist claims, everywhere, in everything- even in the worst of places, Sheol (death). Yes there’s a load of rubbish in this life but there are gems buried in deep within the dust and debris. I believe that were we to demonstrate to people where God was already at work in the world and in their own lives, more people would want to know him. 


As we journey though the urban landscape of our lives, the light may not be blinding us. It may be that we seldom, if ever see the sun. But often times we perceive it in its reflection in the glass and we wouldn’t recognise the shape of shadows if it was absent. People may be closer to the light than we give them, or Christ, credit for. 


Look for the glimmers of light and help others recognise them. It can be a fun game.

Prescription nightmares, being brutally honest, crafting Collectivity, and loving life with Aslan.

The last several weeks have been pretty immense. Rob and I got an update letter together to send to friends and supporters and it was so crammed full of what’s happened with us since February. But especially the past couple weeks- they’ve been amazing!

I have been for the last several months really battling with being depressed and hopeless and I kept thinking it might be down to my birth control pill, hormones etc. but kept putting off going to have the prescription switched. Finally after yet another spell of crying and hating life (seriously) I decided to make a hasty appointment. The doc readily switched me and my mood improved within a couple days. I am so much more energetic, hope-filled, and just plain happy. It’s like the sky has cleared. The thing that annoys me is that this particular pill, microgynon, has been a major issue for a lot of people, so I don’t understand why they still dispense the crap. Apparently it’s the cheapest on the market so that likely has something to do with it.

So that hurdle overcome, I can see life around me blooming with a lot of greatness and joy. This change came at a paramount time for me, being that I was speaking at The Bridge on some things that happened with my family a few years back and the death of my dad. It was the first time I’d publicly shared this and we (my family) were a bit afraid of doing so, but I knew it was what God wanted. To keep it in the dark would never help to liberate people from similar fates. I asked lots and lots of folks to pray for me in the week leading up to the Sunday and while I did have a few moments reflecting on everything that were heart wrenching, it was definitely covered in peace and hope. On the day I was sitting during worship and the thought came that this would be my last chance to change my mind. Once it’s out there, it’s out there and those words cannot be taken back. But just as that happened I felt like God was right there with me in the form of Aslan from Narnia, a great big menacing and fierce lion who would defend and protect me, but he was so cuddly and comforting to me. I buried my face in his coat and was filled with a sense of renewed peace and he stayed there by my side the entire evening and I could still feel that sense throughout the next few days. Even now it comforts me thinking about that. God always shows up in the most meaningful ways.

I shared my family’s story and it was podcasted and it’s soared in downloads with somewhere around 80 downloads in 3 weeks. When I think of all these people listening to this pain it really is humbling and a bit scary. So just to intensify that I’ll post a link here lol http://media.libsyn.com/media/thebridgecollective/260409.mp3

Following that intense week we began prepping for the London Zine Symposium. We put together our own zine for the event, Collectivity. It was so much fun but a hell of a lot of work. We hand-stitched over 100 covers with the title and the zine was given out free at the symposium. We were blessed to get a table so that we could also put out Bridge flyers, Revolution of Love CD’s, patches, and Speak Network booklets. We quickly gave away all of our zines to people who were stunned that it was such quality yet free. We got rid of nearly all of our flyers without even offering them to people forthright, all of our teaching CD’s were sold (wonder what they think of them!), and all of our patches were sold too. All of the Speak materials were given out and we pretty much had a blank table for a couple hours hahaha! Rob was told by one of the organisers of the Alternative Press Fair that we should also attend and make Collectivity available. The guy made it pretty clear that he’s not into religion but he really liked our zine- which isn’t at all preachy but very much based on Kingdom values and the life of Christ. Hopefully it’ll make a real difference in people’s perceptions of church (along with our Jesus was a Heretic and We’re not Assholes flyers, just for a bit of controversy) and we’ll see some people live life for Christ.

I’m now listening to Dick Dale, enjoying a coffee and life in general. Oh yeah, I got my hair cut after trying my own hand at it and failing, so I went out and bought some cute punky ribbons to put in it. We’ve been able to begin tithing again and since have seen our finances change. I’m not into the whole ‘health and wealth’ gospel (even though bits are definitely true, but perhaps over emphasised), but this has proven true in our lives- give and it will be given to you, in good measure. God is so good, so faithful, and such an awesome dad!

Happy Day!

Today was a good day. Who said that…. TuPac? Someone like that…. fortunately I don’t see myself as being gunned down anytime soon though.

I’m not sure quite where to start with what’s good… as I’m on my way out to curry with friends which Rob and I can now afford! Our sixth month of sky-high rent has been paid miraculously yet again, we have the rest of money for bills for the month ahead (it seems that way on preliminary calculations anyways), we’re in major credit for gas and that bill’s dropped, we just realised that we’ve made it far enough on our lease that we can leave at one month’s notice (upgrade to a larger place with a smaller price hopefully), I’ve got one letter sorted out for my visa renewal, we’re going to get chips on the way home from curry and watch a film (hells yeah!), I think we can now afford to bowl a game for our other friend’s birthday, we had a new friend around today who brought her bff so now we have two new friends, my hubster is a happy clam, I bought new socks so my heels aren’t hangin out anymore, we thought we were gonna be about £71 short on rent but got a cheque for £35 yesterday then a deposit for $25 then our deposit that we thought would come in on Monday showed up today in the nick of time, what else what else what else?!

Every time I worry about God taking his sweet time on things He always shows up just when it’s most needed. He’s pretty sweet that way. And while I wish he wouldn’t wait so long, I’m glad because it keeps me mindful of who’s running this show and who I should trust mostest. And so should you ;0)