Prescription nightmares, being brutally honest, crafting Collectivity, and loving life with Aslan.

The last several weeks have been pretty immense. Rob and I got an update letter together to send to friends and supporters and it was so crammed full of what’s happened with us since February. But especially the past couple weeks- they’ve been amazing!

I have been for the last several months really battling with being depressed and hopeless and I kept thinking it might be down to my birth control pill, hormones etc. but kept putting off going to have the prescription switched. Finally after yet another spell of crying and hating life (seriously) I decided to make a hasty appointment. The doc readily switched me and my mood improved within a couple days. I am so much more energetic, hope-filled, and just plain happy. It’s like the sky has cleared. The thing that annoys me is that this particular pill, microgynon, has been a major issue for a lot of people, so I don’t understand why they still dispense the crap. Apparently it’s the cheapest on the market so that likely has something to do with it.

So that hurdle overcome, I can see life around me blooming with a lot of greatness and joy. This change came at a paramount time for me, being that I was speaking at The Bridge on some things that happened with my family a few years back and the death of my dad. It was the first time I’d publicly shared this and we (my family) were a bit afraid of doing so, but I knew it was what God wanted. To keep it in the dark would never help to liberate people from similar fates. I asked lots and lots of folks to pray for me in the week leading up to the Sunday and while I did have a few moments reflecting on everything that were heart wrenching, it was definitely covered in peace and hope. On the day I was sitting during worship and the thought came that this would be my last chance to change my mind. Once it’s out there, it’s out there and those words cannot be taken back. But just as that happened I felt like God was right there with me in the form of Aslan from Narnia, a great big menacing and fierce lion who would defend and protect me, but he was so cuddly and comforting to me. I buried my face in his coat and was filled with a sense of renewed peace and he stayed there by my side the entire evening and I could still feel that sense throughout the next few days. Even now it comforts me thinking about that. God always shows up in the most meaningful ways.

I shared my family’s story and it was podcasted and it’s soared in downloads with somewhere around 80 downloads in 3 weeks. When I think of all these people listening to this pain it really is humbling and a bit scary. So just to intensify that I’ll post a link here lol http://media.libsyn.com/media/thebridgecollective/260409.mp3

Following that intense week we began prepping for the London Zine Symposium. We put together our own zine for the event, Collectivity. It was so much fun but a hell of a lot of work. We hand-stitched over 100 covers with the title and the zine was given out free at the symposium. We were blessed to get a table so that we could also put out Bridge flyers, Revolution of Love CD’s, patches, and Speak Network booklets. We quickly gave away all of our zines to people who were stunned that it was such quality yet free. We got rid of nearly all of our flyers without even offering them to people forthright, all of our teaching CD’s were sold (wonder what they think of them!), and all of our patches were sold too. All of the Speak materials were given out and we pretty much had a blank table for a couple hours hahaha! Rob was told by one of the organisers of the Alternative Press Fair that we should also attend and make Collectivity available. The guy made it pretty clear that he’s not into religion but he really liked our zine- which isn’t at all preachy but very much based on Kingdom values and the life of Christ. Hopefully it’ll make a real difference in people’s perceptions of church (along with our Jesus was a Heretic and We’re not Assholes flyers, just for a bit of controversy) and we’ll see some people live life for Christ.

I’m now listening to Dick Dale, enjoying a coffee and life in general. Oh yeah, I got my hair cut after trying my own hand at it and failing, so I went out and bought some cute punky ribbons to put in it. We’ve been able to begin tithing again and since have seen our finances change. I’m not into the whole ‘health and wealth’ gospel (even though bits are definitely true, but perhaps over emphasised), but this has proven true in our lives- give and it will be given to you, in good measure. God is so good, so faithful, and such an awesome dad!

Two fabulous dreams and a new baby!

As if finding myself in some random episode of The Mighty Boosh, I have experienced some strange and peculiar things in the away world known as ‘sleep’.

The first night found me organising a gig for Metallica in my high school town of Camarillo, California- meeting the band at, yes, you surely saw it coming, a Chevron gas station. Apparently word had gotten back to the band that there was no doubt I would find myself screaming like a 12 year old boy band fanatic (which could also have been my experience had I gone to the NKOTB reunion show) and they had prepared to throw me off a bit. Waiting outside the service station with a gal I don’t recognise but who was either a business associate or a best friend (hard to tell some days), we suddenly saw the door to our right open and two gigantic cuddly teddy bears march out- teddy bears the size of people. Teddy bears the size of Metallica members.

We naturally rushed at them, knowing it must be them under the costumes- now I say rushed and I really do mean rushed- my logic told me that because they were such large and fluffy costumes, there was ample padding to take the most forceful of ‘bear hugs’ and so I literally ran and threw myself into the arms of the waiting bear to the left, who was standing arms wide open. I could hear the voice inside sniffling and I thought, wow, could it be that this display of affection has so jarred the unknown metaller into an emotional expression I never saw coming? Of course I was myself all welled up with tears, although I’m glad to say I did it all with the most elegance and composure (not the usual snot works and hyperventilation one would expect). When we finally broke our embrace and stepped away, the teddy bears removed their cuddly heads and a smily and very hot looking James and Lars stood, removing the remainder of their costumes to reveal their typical metal and black profiles for us to gawk at.

Now, I have to admit, I had a crush on Lars in high school. But God only knows why- probably an affinity for dummers. I have my doubts that it had anything to do with his looks or personality. But since waking up from this dream and realising I’d spent the better part of two-dream-minutes embracing Lars and feeling really loved and cherished- not pushed away for a second (and it wasn’t because he could feel my chest, considering the mass of bear costume flesh between us). It was because Lars is a good person. And I truly love them even more now.

Dream two took place last night. It was one of those dreams that you’re not really sure if it’s actually taking place or not. I awakened to the sound of small intruders in the kitchen. Assuming that the mice had found their way in again I stood behind our bedroom door wondering if I should fling the door open and scare them away or if I should carefully open it in order to see what they were up to. I opted for the second mode of entry and was shocked at what I saw.

Rather than the expected rodents I saw kittens. Two lovely little adorable kittens who had come out of our upper cupboard, knocking over a bag of flour that was left on the counter (silly little cute kittens can be so clumsy), and playing softly on the floor. I walked in, smiled and picked them up. Then they explained to me, as kittens do, that there was a hole in the back of the cupboard and they are able to go from flat to flat from within the walls. And now that I think about it, maybe that’s the way forward with pest control in London- put kittens in walls! Anyways, so yeah I had a nice little talking to with these cuties, explaining that they were welcome to come and visit but that they would need to be very careful not to tip things over or break anything. They purred in agreement and I sent them back into their hole to get back to their home for the night.

Dreamy, huh? Can’t wait to get to sleep tonight and see what’s playing in my imagination then!

I’ve been waiting now for months, knowing that my laptop was on its way out. The disc drive was becoming old and protested quite a lot over Christmas. I have had to restart it on a daily basis several times. Surely there was little time left for it. Thankfully my mom gave me some money to buy a new laptop this weekend but I wouldn’t have time to actually go do the shopping til today. So I woke up, this being my day off, took my time a bit with coffee and email. Then as I decided to update my facebook status in honour of my kitten dream, I noticed that no letters were appearing on the screen. I’d managed to shoot off a birthday greeting just minutes before, and then nada. This left me in hysterics, laughing at the irony of the situation. So money in pocket I trapsed out and about (another story in its own right that I don’t care to get into) and bought me a new baby who sits in my lap now and actually speeds along and writes lovely little letters for you to read.

Thank God for killer dreams and new technology :0)